Retro Review- Pearl Harbor
September 3rd 2007 06:55
Pearl Harbor, directed by Michael Bay
Oh dear. Michael Bay is a name that strikes fear in the hearts of men and women, both great and small. With his partner in crime, uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer (the latter of whom is responsible for virtually everything from Pirates of the Caribbean to Survivor to CSI: Miami), Bay has excreted onto cinema screens such high art masterpieces as 1995’s Bad Boys and its belated 2003 sequel; Armageddon (not content with defending the world from Eurotrash terrorists, Bruce Willis must now save our planet from asteroids); and Con Air. Not to mention this year’s blockbuster toy commercial, sorry, action adventure Transformers.
Where Bay excels in delivering high-octane thrills, explosions, and action set pieces; he falters when it comes to getting dialogue scenes right. Pearl Harbor, released in 2001 (uncannily just months before the tragedy of 9/11), is no exception. Parallels with Titanic are very much in evidence. Both movies take a tragic, catastrophic moment in history as their stimulus. Both films are about as historically accurate as a wristwatch in the Roman Empire. Both films have ludicrously inflated special effects budgets. Both films have soppy ballads at the closing credits that can strip paint from walls. Both films are self-indulgent, long, bloated, and turgid. And both have a rather tacked-on sentimental love story which takes up the majority of the running time.
I am a great fan of WW2 epics. Unfortunately, it isn’t until 80 minutes into Pearl Harbor’s unreasonable 160 minute running time that anything looks even remotely like blowing up. Now, hold on a minute. I’m not one of those people with short attention spans; that perpetually demands pretty, colourful pyrotechnics; lest I walk out of the cinema to check out Die Hard 4 instead. But with a Bay project, you go in expecting mindless action thrills. It seems as though he’s tried too hard to capture different markets. I can hear the production meeting now. ‘Give the ladies their love triangle subplot, that’ll keep them happy. For the girls, you’ve got Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck as eye candy; for the blokes, you’ve got crowd pleaser Kate Beckinsale. Bob’s your uncle!’
Bay spends too long establishing these (rather two-dimensional) characters, and trying to make us care about their lives. I hope you’re a fan of cheese, because there’s enough here to open a gorgonzola emporium! The dialogue is as clumsy and wooden as Pinocchio at a gymnastics competition. And of course, there’s enough blatant U.S flag-waving and patriotism to make even John Rambo blush. Now, a bit of national pride is to be expected. Every country displays its share of fervent partisanship. But the extent to which these tendencies are deployed in Pearl Harbor borders on the repugnant. Every sentence uttered by General Doolittle (Alec Baldwin) in the script is a pompous, jingoistic cliché. No film I’ve witnessed, since 1998’s The Patriot (in which a British Redcoat is impaled on a U.S flag), contains such heinous propaganda.
I won’t bore you too much with the specific details of the story. Crack pilot Ben Affleck falls in love with army nurse Kate Beckinsale, he gets shipped to the UK to fight in the battle of Britain, is shot down in a Jerry aerial attack and presumed dead. Meanwhile, at home, his pal Josh Hartnett moves in on his girl. When Affleck shows up alive, sparks (and punches) inevitably fly. It’s all Hollywood pabulum, naturally.
The film seems not to be designed for the history buff. It is catered towards the shallow tastes of the casual moviegoer. It takes many, many liberties with history. Wikipedia lists a legion of historical bloopers in the film. One of my favourites being a building which bears the plaque ‘Established 1950’, when the battle of Pearl Harbor took place on December 7th 1941.
The Doolittle Raid, the Allied counterattack on Tokyo depicted at the end of this film, was actually months after the assault on Pearl Harbor. This movie cannot end on a sour note, though, can it? You can’t end a Hollywood film with United States forces being defeated, can you? No time period is better for US flag-waving than WW2, because the Allies, of course, won. Vietnam, in which Western support for the South Vietnamese army was eventually withdrawn, is a more tricky subject to tackle.
And what’s with the dogfights? Note to Bay: An American P51 Mustang is not an X Wing fighter from the Star Wars universe. They can’t perform those kewl aerial manoeuvres you insist on including in your obviously-CGI battle scenes.
I’m not sure who to recommend this film to. Most romantics will be bored by the stilted, awkward, shoehorned-in love story; most action fans will be frustrated at having to wait until more than halfway through the film until anything blows up. Armchair WW2 historians (like myself) will be appalled by its lack of depth, and adherence to the facts. Actual veterans of Pearl Harbor will probably find it offensive. One of the pilots who actually shot down several Zeroes during Pearl Harbor said the film was pure ‘trash’.
For a more satisfying depiction of the events leading up to Pearl Harbor, check out From Here to Eternity. For a better interpretation of the actual battle, watch the infinitely superior Tora!Tora!Tora! For the Doolittle Raid, hire out 30 Seconds Over Tokyo. There are many war movies better than this. There are better romance movies, too, if that’s your bag.
5 out of 10
Bonus point added for the presence of Jon Voight as US president Franklin D. Roosevelt, who does a pretty decent performance; and for the presence of a few half-decent CGI effects; and for the presence of the fine Kate Beckinsale.
Oh dear. Michael Bay is a name that strikes fear in the hearts of men and women, both great and small. With his partner in crime, uber-producer Jerry Bruckheimer (the latter of whom is responsible for virtually everything from Pirates of the Caribbean to Survivor to CSI: Miami), Bay has excreted onto cinema screens such high art masterpieces as 1995’s Bad Boys and its belated 2003 sequel; Armageddon (not content with defending the world from Eurotrash terrorists, Bruce Willis must now save our planet from asteroids); and Con Air. Not to mention this year’s blockbuster toy commercial, sorry, action adventure Transformers.
Where Bay excels in delivering high-octane thrills, explosions, and action set pieces; he falters when it comes to getting dialogue scenes right. Pearl Harbor, released in 2001 (uncannily just months before the tragedy of 9/11), is no exception. Parallels with Titanic are very much in evidence. Both movies take a tragic, catastrophic moment in history as their stimulus. Both films are about as historically accurate as a wristwatch in the Roman Empire. Both films have ludicrously inflated special effects budgets. Both films have soppy ballads at the closing credits that can strip paint from walls. Both films are self-indulgent, long, bloated, and turgid. And both have a rather tacked-on sentimental love story which takes up the majority of the running time.
I am a great fan of WW2 epics. Unfortunately, it isn’t until 80 minutes into Pearl Harbor’s unreasonable 160 minute running time that anything looks even remotely like blowing up. Now, hold on a minute. I’m not one of those people with short attention spans; that perpetually demands pretty, colourful pyrotechnics; lest I walk out of the cinema to check out Die Hard 4 instead. But with a Bay project, you go in expecting mindless action thrills. It seems as though he’s tried too hard to capture different markets. I can hear the production meeting now. ‘Give the ladies their love triangle subplot, that’ll keep them happy. For the girls, you’ve got Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck as eye candy; for the blokes, you’ve got crowd pleaser Kate Beckinsale. Bob’s your uncle!’
Bay spends too long establishing these (rather two-dimensional) characters, and trying to make us care about their lives. I hope you’re a fan of cheese, because there’s enough here to open a gorgonzola emporium! The dialogue is as clumsy and wooden as Pinocchio at a gymnastics competition. And of course, there’s enough blatant U.S flag-waving and patriotism to make even John Rambo blush. Now, a bit of national pride is to be expected. Every country displays its share of fervent partisanship. But the extent to which these tendencies are deployed in Pearl Harbor borders on the repugnant. Every sentence uttered by General Doolittle (Alec Baldwin) in the script is a pompous, jingoistic cliché. No film I’ve witnessed, since 1998’s The Patriot (in which a British Redcoat is impaled on a U.S flag), contains such heinous propaganda.
I won’t bore you too much with the specific details of the story. Crack pilot Ben Affleck falls in love with army nurse Kate Beckinsale, he gets shipped to the UK to fight in the battle of Britain, is shot down in a Jerry aerial attack and presumed dead. Meanwhile, at home, his pal Josh Hartnett moves in on his girl. When Affleck shows up alive, sparks (and punches) inevitably fly. It’s all Hollywood pabulum, naturally.
The film seems not to be designed for the history buff. It is catered towards the shallow tastes of the casual moviegoer. It takes many, many liberties with history. Wikipedia lists a legion of historical bloopers in the film. One of my favourites being a building which bears the plaque ‘Established 1950’, when the battle of Pearl Harbor took place on December 7th 1941.
The Doolittle Raid, the Allied counterattack on Tokyo depicted at the end of this film, was actually months after the assault on Pearl Harbor. This movie cannot end on a sour note, though, can it? You can’t end a Hollywood film with United States forces being defeated, can you? No time period is better for US flag-waving than WW2, because the Allies, of course, won. Vietnam, in which Western support for the South Vietnamese army was eventually withdrawn, is a more tricky subject to tackle.
And what’s with the dogfights? Note to Bay: An American P51 Mustang is not an X Wing fighter from the Star Wars universe. They can’t perform those kewl aerial manoeuvres you insist on including in your obviously-CGI battle scenes.
I’m not sure who to recommend this film to. Most romantics will be bored by the stilted, awkward, shoehorned-in love story; most action fans will be frustrated at having to wait until more than halfway through the film until anything blows up. Armchair WW2 historians (like myself) will be appalled by its lack of depth, and adherence to the facts. Actual veterans of Pearl Harbor will probably find it offensive. One of the pilots who actually shot down several Zeroes during Pearl Harbor said the film was pure ‘trash’.
For a more satisfying depiction of the events leading up to Pearl Harbor, check out From Here to Eternity. For a better interpretation of the actual battle, watch the infinitely superior Tora!Tora!Tora! For the Doolittle Raid, hire out 30 Seconds Over Tokyo. There are many war movies better than this. There are better romance movies, too, if that’s your bag.
5 out of 10
Bonus point added for the presence of Jon Voight as US president Franklin D. Roosevelt, who does a pretty decent performance; and for the presence of a few half-decent CGI effects; and for the presence of the fine Kate Beckinsale.
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Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
This is a great review. I haven't seen the film and I don't think I will...
Tracy